Earlier this week Silas and I went with our landlord's family to Khon Kaen (a town in northeastern Thailand) for their son's wedding. This was the first chance I've had to see an entire Thai wedding - and it was quite a production. Besides the end result, there aren't very many similarities with American weddings! The process starts with dowry negotiations and the groom and his family seem to be responsible for many of the costs. We traveled in two vans with a group of around 20 people. And we all slept in the same house - most of us lined up in a row in the same room. Between the loud music from the wedding party, the man who insisted on watching TV after everyone else laid down, and the incredible chorus of snoring I did not get much sleep! But it was a very good cultural experience and a good chance to spend time with our landlord.
The bride's parents' house and the site of all the wedding festivities. For most of the two days there were people sitting around eating and drinking.
The evening before the wedding 5 monks came from the temple to make holy water and bless the string that would be used in the ceremony. Many of the guests didn't come upstairs for this, and the bride and groom didn't even show up until the very end. It seemed to be more for the benefit of the older villagers who care more about these traditions and ceremonies. The chanting put Silas to sleep and he even slept through the ending where one of the monks flung the blessed water over the audience.
On the morning of the wedding they announced that an auspicious time of 9:09 a.m. had been set for the beginning of the ceremony. The house where we were staying (along with the groom) was just down the street from the wedding site. Here the groom is leading a parade of all the people who came along from Samut Prakan. I was too busy taking pictures to notice that Silas was trying to steal the show!
Once we got to the bride's house some of her relatives were barring the door. The groom had to pay money before he could pass. But a couple of steps later, some more relatives were blocking the stairs. After several payments (and getting his feet washed by his future mother-in-law) he was allowed upstairs.
At the actual ceremony there were no monks - it was led by this man, some kind of village elder. He chanted and sang, and told the bride and groom what to do. Unlike at an American wedding, I got the impression that the bride and groom had very little say in what happened. Everything was done in accordance with tradition and the guests felt very free to holler out reminders and suggestions (Hold hands! Hold that bowl of flowers! Put this cloth around her shoulders! Eat this sticky rice that I've wrapped in money!) They didn't even have many (I don't think the groom had any) personal friends in attendance. They were family members and friends of the parents.
The bride and groom with the sacred strings tied around their heads.
The couple was sprinkled with special water during a very long chant.
The groom's parents tying strings on the couple's wrists as a form of blessing. The rest of the guests than did the same thing while putting cash gifts in their hands. In another major departure from American wedding etiquette these gifts were announced by an emcee over the sound system (which was broadcast to the whole neighborhood). "The bride's aunt so-and-so gives 1000 Baht. The sister of the bride gives 10,000 Baht. The bride's cousin gives 500 Baht." Then some helpful relatives dumped all the money on the floor and counted it up so that a total could be announced. At the start of ceremony the dowry of gold and cash was displayed and then the bride's parents wrapped it up in a big bundle and took it away.
A final prayer of blessing.
After the prayer of blessing the parents of the couple led them into the bedroom where a bed had been decorated. First the grooms parents laid on the bed and embraced while people took pictures. Then the newly married couple took their turn. This blurry shot was the best I could get since I was at the back of the pack.
We were there for less than 24 hours but ate 4 big meals during that time. A large group of women were constantly cooking and they butchered 5 pigs right there at the house. In fact we could hear the second batch of pigs being killed while we were eating the first one!
Silas did a great job of traveling, sleeping through noise, and being picked on. He wasn't very excited about all the people who wanted to talk to him but he did take a liking to this lady who repeatedly took him across the road to sit on a tractor and brought this toy motorcycle for him to sit on. She would push him around and then ask him to dance. He would jump off and do a short jig before hopping back on.
And he loved spending time with Lung Seri. Here they were walking down to the river and talking about whether or not there were snakes hiding in the bamboo grove.
-Tom
